Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Juicing, Spirulina and Why Marriage Sucks

Well, it is now July, over two months since my last post and I still cannot think of anything to blog about. I haven't watched any shitty movies lately, except for Killers which was total shit on a stick, yet too unmemorable to write a mean review of. Then I thought maybe I should write a review of the meditation cds I have been enjoying immensely ( - they are indeed like crack to me and I simply could not live without them. But I got bored just thinking about writing on that topic.

The height of extravagance
However, on a more exciting note, I bought a juicer. It takes about half the veggies in my fridge just to produce one delightfully fresh glass of juice! Its enough fruits and veggies to feed a roomful of starving children for a week, but instead it is turned into a liquid snack for Kate! The juicer is rather wasteful as once it extracts all the juice from fruits and veggies, it leaves behind alot of dry fiber. At first, I tried to find recipes and ideas of ways to utilize this fiber, as it just seemed a bit naughty to throw it all out. I don't like to be wasteful, but then I thought, fuck it. If there is one thing I hate more than being unethical and harmful to the environment, its being ethical and "green".

Speaking of green, I recently began drinking Spirulina powder mixed with water. I bought the Hawaiian Spirulina Pacifica at my local grocery store in the health food aisle. Once the powder is thoroughly mixed with the water it looks and smells like a swamp. Spirulina is basically algae taken from the mystical depths of the ocean and then dried into powder form. Anyway, its just like you are drinking swamp water, which sounds bad, but is actually wonderful. I think it brings back fond memories of all those past lives that I had in the ocean (as fish, mermaids, sea creatures, whatever).

So basically, to sum things up, my life has been truly enriched by juicing, guided acid trip meditation cds and drinking Spirulina. Not very interesting and certainly not enough to write a blog post on.
I was lamenting this conundrum to my friend Ashley and she suggested I blog about how annoyed I am that now I am almost 30, I am often asked why I am not married and if and when I plan to have children.
At first the thought of openly talking about this filled me with fear - I didn't want to offend anyone or sound preachy and opinionated. Really, I just wanted to exist quietly - sipping my juice, meditating and "forgetting" to recycle. But then, once again, I thought fuck it! Who wants to go pussyfooting through life petrified of stepping on others toes? Where is the mischief in that?

So let me start from the beginning.....a few years ago, after I graduated from university, I began to notice that the "what are you going to do when you graduate?" question was quickly being replaced with "when are you getting married?" and later, "When will you have children?" This didn't seem too irksome at first, until all of a sudden I was being asked this question by nearly everyone, everywhere I went. I didn't really reach boiling point until the other day, when I was asked these questions by three separate people, in three separate places, all before lunchtime. Enough is enough. People need to back the fuck off. Seriously.

I think part of my frustration stems from the fact that I never really have a good answer.

The conversation usually goes like this:  when are you getting married? never. why not? its not my thing. but do you want children? i dont know. how old are you? 29. hmmm.

I don't say what I really want to - instead I hold back and then feel all bitter about it later.
I choose not to marry because I think marriage sucks - it is a patriarchal institution designed by and for men so that they could ensure which offspring was theirs - and I want no part of that shitshow.

Also, romance is a lie. The institution of marriage has been packaged up like a hobo at a drag show, falsely marketed as "romance" and sold to women by society, all with the hidden agenda of selling diamonds, supporting the wedding industry and duping women into choosing a lifestyle that supports consumerism, Capitalism, the government and other depressing patriarchal structures. There are better choices out there for women - and for men. This is the first time in history that women can comfortably choose not to marry without joining a convent or suffering harsh social criticism - and really, that is quite profound and liberating.
The right to remain blissfully unmarried should be celebrated by this generation and not taken for granted.

But getting back to my bitterness - when people announce their engagements and pregnancies, no one ever asks "why?" (well, i do - but nice people don't). Instead, they are congratulated. And I know that I will never be congratulated for choosing not to marry or have a plethora of offspring - because this culture celebrates that which chains you down (marriage, babies, mortgages, jobs and promotions) and mourns that which sets you free (death, job loss, divorce).

A part of me thinks this is all part of a government conspiracy to keep everyone busy and distracted - it's hard to notice the dysfunction and corruption in a society when your energy is all wrapped up in going to work so you can feed your children and pay the mortgage - let alone be able to muster the energy to challenge such dysfunction. At the end of a long day at work, you just want to watch "The Girls Next Door" or "Keeping up with the Kardashians" on your big flat screen TV, not rally against social injustice!
But then I remember that conspiracies take organization, planning, foresight and cooperation and a wave of relief washes over me.
Who wants to fight social ills when they could plug into this?